Elf's Treehouse -> Archives -> 2006 -> April

Two Spoons

2006-04-02 23:10:46 - 1 comments    |     Archives

It must have been a three or four years ago. I'm not sure how old he must've been. At the time he could walk but he didn't speak too many words. He could do a little bit of counting, though. I guess he must have been a little over two years old. We were at the local grocery pusher and I only had two items left on my list. He had just pointed to the self service candy isle, and asked if he could have some, and since it was the weekend and I usually was the one who said no, I told him he could have some. As kids in that age tend to do, he insisted on doing it on his own, without any assistance from me. He knew exactly what he wanted in that isle. As he walked towards the isle I called after him: "Two spoons!" To really make my point come across I held two fingers up in the air to illustrate the number two. He turned around and nodded: "Two spoons," he said and continued towards his goal.

I went through the store to get the last items on my list. As I walked towards the cashier, I started wondering what was taking him so long. I turned around the corner of the isle that led up to the candy section and that's when I saw him. The small paper bag that you keep the self serving candy in was standing on the floor in front of him. It was filled to the brim with sweets. I was about to ask him what in heaven's name he was doing when he saw me. He smiled and with one spoon in each hand he said in a proud voice: "Two spoons!"

I Work in the Matrix

2006-04-05 15:29:34 - 0 comments    |     Archives

Finally I've got the proof I've been looking for! I've wondered for some time now why I feel trapped in a surreal Dilbert-like world when I'm at work. And here's the answer. And I didn't even follow a rabbit...

Kjre Spammer

2006-04-17 22:06:04 - 0 comments    |     Archives

Edit:Jeg har fjernet epostadressen og navnet til vedkommende dette dreide seg om:

Jeg må få gratulere deg, spammer, så mye med at du nå har blitt medlem av mitt spam-recovery-program. Dette er et spesialutviklet program for folk med så lav sosial intelligens at de uoppfordret sender søppel-epost til uvitende private brukere.

Hvor og når meldte jeg meg på, spør du kanskje? Det er det som er så fantastisk. Du meldte deg på automatisk da du helt uoppfordret sendte meg epost med reklame.

Ikke fortvil, det er mulig å bli frisk fra denne lidelsen, og jeg vil fylle opp innboksen din med epost helt til jeg anser deg som frisk nok til å fungere normalt i samfunnet igjen. Kurset er helt gratis, og om du skulle føle at innboksen begynner å bli full er det jo bare å lagre eposten i en annen mappe. Så mye strev er det jo ikke.

Når det er sagt er det jo tydelig at du har begynt å skjønne litt av hvert siden epostadressen din, som er bare er lagt ut som en bildelink på web-sida di i stedet for å skrive den som en tekstlink som ser slik ut: .

Nok en gang, velkommen som nytt medlem. Jeg gleder meg til å kurere deg.

Vennlig hilsen
Kursleder

White Silence

2006-04-23 01:11:15 - 0 comments    |     Archives

It's quiet. Not the type everyday quietness where all the sounds are muffled and you can hear distant sounds of people talking, the ventilation system, an airplane somewhere or any of the other constant buzzing background noises that usually pass as quietness these days. No, this is the kind of quiet that one can call silence. Total and undisturbed peace and quiet. It's so silent that the ears are ringing because of it. It's like it's so silent that the brain can't deal with it, so in stead it produces its own noise, a slight ringing in your ears which makes you realize that there is nothing around you that produces anything resembling sound.

I've read that people can go crazy because of silence like this, and for a few panicky moments I can understand why. We're so used to having noise around us that having no sounds around us is a concept that is hard to grasp. Let alone understand. I close my eyes and I take deep breaths. I listen. Hard. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I can feel my pulse and I can occasionally hear my own breathing when I have to take deep breaths because of the altitude. Other than that, it's completely tranquil. I smile as I open my eyes and survey the snow covered landscape around me. Tranquility. Sea of tranquility. That's what this landscape is. A sea of snow, with the occasional island of mountain sticking up over surface, and a deep blue sky with no clouds that hinders the sun from making it all seem even whiter.

I'm 13 km from my starting point. 600 meters above the ocean. I take off my skis and sit down on them. I decide to stay here for a while. To savor this experience. To drink it. This white silence.

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