Elf's Treehouse -> Archives -> 2004 -> July

In My World

2004-07-06 14:11:58 - 0 comments    |     Archives

We were laying under the parasol, I on one sun bed and Line on the other with our son in his pram in the middle of us, when the feeling came over me. A tingling sensation in my stomach quickly fired off impulses to my brain that triggered the memories. Memories of childhood summers twenty years ago. Laying on a beach in Crete I was thinking back on carefree days spent laying on our backs in small huts and tents we made up of blankets we hung around a group of trees so that we had an open centre in the middle and a ceiling made of treetops filled with long green leaves. We would furniture it with pillows and whatever we could find to make our comfort even better and spend our time reading comics, eating ice cream or candy, playing with our Star Wars action figures (they're not dolls, thank you very much) or maybe just spending time inside in our own comfortable little world where it seemed like childhood would be one long summer that would never end.

I turned to the side for a moment and stole a quick glance at my son who was busy eating potato chips and playing with his Digimon action figures (they don't look like dolls either) while bursting out in the occasional unidentifiable song. It was clear that he was at that very moment existing inside his own little world, only his hut was made up by the ceiling and walls of his pram and not blankets. I looked further to the right and saw Line on her sun bed watching the people walking by while sipping on her drink every now and then.

I laid back and tried to saviour the feeling and it was still there. I closed my eyes and revelled in it. All it took was a ceiling in the form of a parasol, and for a short while on that beach we had our own little world filled with warmth, joy, candy, comics and action figures.

Going Up in Smoke

2004-07-07 14:46:42 - 1 comments    |     Archives

It was the very first thing they did after entering the arrivals area. While waiting for our luggage they pulled out their cigarettes and started puffing away. Not one ounce of a thought was offered towards the people around them. You see, in Crete you are pretty much allowed to smoke anywhere you please, and for a Norwegian smoker that means it's "do as you please" without thinking of the people around you.

This is exactly why we need laws about smoking. If we didn't have them people would smoke everywhere, just as they did not more than 16 years ago. The smokers may sulk all they like, all I can say is "yaboo, sucks to you." Now you will know how it has been for us non-smokers all these years. You see, we have been the ones who have had to accommodate ourselves to your needs, now it's the other way round and you just can't take it.

Once a friend of mine said to me that she thought the Norwegian smoking laws were stupid. I then replied by asking: "If you were allowed to smoke on the plane, would you still do it?" To her credit she didn't pull the usual smokers stunt by lying, she owed up to the fact that she would have lit up a smoke and started puffing away without thinking about it. I rest my case.

Smokers say we are bullying them. I'm sorry, but if that's what it takes for you to respect my right to breathe fresh air, I'll bully you to kingdom come.

Fuck the Press

2004-07-08 14:30:28 - 0 comments    |     Archives

You got to hand it to Kristopher Schau. It's quite a feat to be able to grab the headlines for the fifth summer in a row during the Quart festival. I take my hat, or perhaps in this case my trousers, off to ya, mate.

On the other hand, maybe it's not that difficult to grab the headlines during a period where even TV2 are actually showing last summers news, I kid you not, during their main broadcast at nine in the evening. I'm sure the journalists of VG and Dagbladet where laying in bed wanking their organs red and swollen while thinking of their front pages in the coming days. What a gift Schau gave them! In a period where there's nothing else to write about than the shitty weather and price of strawberries, a couple goes up on stage during a music festival to fuck their brains out for the rainforest. You could almost think it was arranged by a bored press corps, but we're not that cynical, are we?

They all did it by the book of course. Call the most Christian conservative politicians you could think off. Then get a statement from the environmentalists and the left winged intellectual namby pambies who usually claim they are for free speech and for the protection of artists to express themselves as they please, but who now are totally against the very same thing because this is porn, and we all know that porn kills people. Of course the head lines using the words "shocking" and "sex" in big bold type faced letters have been plastered all over the front page, even if the only ones who were shocked were the journalists themselves when they saw what a scoop that was handed over to them on a sliver plate and the Christian conservatives. You know, the ones who always know when your cable provider forgot to scramble last Saturday night's porn flick.

One thing is for sure, I betcha Nettavisen has never had more hits added to their crappy News in English page (learn the language morons) than they've had in the last twenty four hours. I can even imagining the conservatives in the US latching on to this as an example what will happen if people like Janet Jackson are allowed to flash their tits on prime time tv without anyone setting an end to it.

But is this really something to make fuzz about? A young couple has sex on stage, so what? Ok, I can understand that people don't want sex and pornography shoved down their throats without asking for it first will react to this kind of stuff, but would these kind of people in the future please don't go to a concert with a group who call themselves Cumshots? Their lead singer is a guy who a few years ago put his dick inside a fish in front of an audience of thousands at the very same festival, for fuck's sake. If this kind of thing offends you, don't go to his concerts. And I would also like to sling bricks at the police who actually wasted time and resources to investigate this idiocy and to the leaders of the festival who claim they knew nothing about this in advance. Yeah, right!

Friday Review: Programmed to Love

2004-07-09 14:03:44 - 0 comments    |     Archives

After a two week holiday I'm back with my Friday reviews. This time I'm reviewing one of the best albums I have in my entire 7500 records collection. I'ts a masterpiece and a gem that every home should own. Read on to find out why.

Spider-Man 2

2004-07-13 15:54:23 - 1 comments    |     Archives

Saw it yesterday and I was more than happy with what I saw on the silver screen. Why do they call it a silver screen, anway? Looks more white than silver to me. Anyway, the story was good, in the traditional Spider-Man sort of way, the actors were fine, especially J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. The most perfect casting I've yet to see in any superhero movie, apart from Xavier of course.

I also warmed up to Kirsten Dunst in this movie. I wasn't too sure about her as MJ in the first one, but in the sequel she really convinced me that she was right for the role. There is an inconsistency between the fun loving MJ from the comics and the, for the most part, sad version we see in the movies, but I can live with it.

What also struck me was that you don't need to be a comic book fan or Spider-Man fan to see this movie. It helps yes, but only to get all the in-jokes, references to other Marvel-characters and at times stomach a few villain clichés. There are a few awkward moments ("Nothing will stop me now MUHAHAHAH") but at least in the movie the villains doesn't scream their nick names out in huge capital letters as they do in the comics.

What really makes this movie work is not the huge battles and the special effects, that at times looks like just that, special effects, although the web swinging worked much better in this movie than in the prequel, but the fact that the movie is character driven. Peter Parker is just like in the comics, a guy who is humanized despite his powers because he has problems we all can relate to. Not being there for your friends and family, bills, having time enough to do what you want and so on. Also, each character's actions make sense and the movie gives you time to care about our heroes (are you listening Lucas?). The only time I felt a loophole in the script was when one of the central characters in the movie actually barters a deal with the main villain, even though he really wouldn't have stood a chance against stopping the villain from getting what he wanted.

Andreas and Alec accompanied me, and they were entertained as well. We had a big discussion on the way home about the "this is where we hint at the sequel" scenes, and I could impress/bore them with my intimate knowledge about the minor Marvel-characters we both saw and that were mentioned. Ahh, it's nice to be nerdy at times. Anyway, go and see it.

Top of the World

2004-07-15 15:08:28 - 2 comments    |     Archives

So, the UN has once again stated the fact that Norway is the best country in the world to be living in. I'm not going to debate if that's true or not, all I can say is that I'm glad I'm living in Norway, because no matter how much we complain, we do live in a great society. Exactly how good is summed up beautifully in the interview with this family. The father of the family concludes that Norway is far from the best country in the world to be living in. His reasons? The new smoking law, immigration politics and our prime minister. It's no secret that I don't wish our prime minister any good, but when someone complains that they are forced to respect non-smokers and that we are at least trying to help people who has had to leave their home country for fear of their life, even if our integration of them is far from being perfect, it proves beyond no doubt that we live in a country that is extremely well off.

I have a nagging feeling that this person is among them who vote for Carl I. Hagen. A man who has specialised in playing on peoples frustration about high taxes, imagined problems with immigrants, schools with lousy economy, the problems with our health services, crime and the way we treat people in nursery homes. A man that two days ago proved to the whole world that he is absolutely clueless about islam. It's scary that a person like this is among the most influential politicians in this country.

It's even more scary that people actually vote for this guy, and according to a survey referenced on the radio today, 25% of the Norwegian population agrees with this guy. (Is the UN sure it's only 10% of our population who can't read or write properly?) What is wrong with you people? This is a politician who caters to the wind of any group of people he knows will grant him their votes. He's darn clever at it as well. Just look at his skills: He is clearly a racist, but at the same time he is a supporter of Israel and the jews. These days he tries to portray himself as a good Christian who believes in good Christian values. At the same time he is the leader of a party who wants people to be able to buy as cheap alcohol as possible and they want pornography legalised. Nothing about his politics makes sense as it all contradicts itself.

If Hagen came to power our society would look something like this:

(Thanks to Abbie for some of the points on that list)

After the stand up show he had for a bunch of Christian nitwits in Bergen on Tuesday, he should be spurned like a pile of poop, but I'm sure it has gathered him votes. It really makes me want to introduce a reduced democracy in Norway. Everyone should be forced to take a test that would show much insight and knowledge they had. It would reduce his number of votes considerably.

Friday Review: Destroyer

2004-07-16 16:25:17 - 1 comments    |     Archives

Since I've basically haven't really bothered about the festival this year, I decided to dive in to my vinyl collection this week. Out of the heap I dug out an album with an irresistable cover. It's a cover with a painting of four masked characters standing on a pile of rubble while the world burns behind them. Ladies'n germs, I give you Destroyer.

Friday Review: Ten Kai - Astral Trip

2004-07-23 13:52:45 - 1 comments    |     Archives

No, I haven't gone on holiday. I've just been busy. Anyway, this Friday I'm probably comitting social suicide by recommending an album from an artist normally associated with New Age. Read it here and judge for yourself.

Everyday is Like Sunday

2004-07-26 14:31:13 - 0 comments    |     Archives

Trudging slowly over wet sand
Back to the bench where your clothes were stolen

I'm looking at the cover. A double LP with all the spring/summer 1988 UK smash hits. I take the cover out of the plastic and I smile while thinking of my step son who a couple of years earlier walked in on me and asked "what is that?" when I held a vinyl record in my hand for inspection of scratches. Boy, I really am getting old, am I not?

This is the coastal town
That they forgot to close down

I look at all the pictures of all the artists on the inside of the gatefold cover. Eighties hairstyle, eighties make up, eighties smiles, eighties smells, eighties sounds and... eighties memories. Nostalgia. That's what it is, I think to myself.

Armageddon - come Armageddon!
Come, Armageddon! Come!

I pick up LP1 from the cover and I study it for scratches. The bedroom door is closed and no one comes through it this time. I can hear the sounds of the rest of the family in the living room. A door is all that separates two different lifetimes. I put the record on the turntable, it's not a record player, and I let the pick up move to track number five, ignoring the first four, and by the first note I'm not here anymore.

Everyday is like Sunday
Everyday is silent and grey

School. Ninth grade is over. Feelings of dread and relief interchange. High school is three months away and by choice I'm going to another school than the rest of my class. I need the change. To get away. Not from them personally, I see them through most of the summer and they will be an important part of me for the rest of my life, but I just need... something new. A change. Meet new people. I need to know myself again.

Hide on the promenade
Etch a postcard :
"How I Dearly Wish I Was Not Here"

Holiday. It's my first real summer job. I'm receiving a pay cheque. I have absolutely no responsibilities in life and I can squander it on anything I like. I'm fifteen. It's an Indian summer. My parents leave for their holiday without me. Hormones are running wild. It never gets dark. Autumn is such a long way away.

In the seaside town
...that they forgot to bomb
Come, Come, Come - nuclear bomb

Music. My life revolves around it and it's a given where a lot my money is going. On payday I leave the local record pusher with a bag containing five albums. Among them is my time machine. The double album called "Now That's What I Call Music Vol. 12." An album I keep for company when the grown ups gather for drinks and food in the living room. Before I go downtown to the youth centre that is open all summer. When I get home early in the morning after we've been hanging out at a friends place. While nerding on my computer. This album is my own little secret and treasure. I have a mixer and I share small drops of my treasure to my sister's friends "who'd like a mixed tape with good music." But never this particular song.

Everyday is like Sunday
Everyday is silent and grey

Commodore 64. This is the summer it all takes off. I meet up with Tommy in his basement to get all the latest cracks. He teaches me how to code. I'm counting the days to the release of the Last Ninja 2. It's postponed. Again. I become a master swapper and I swap discs with people from all over the world. "For 0-4 days old stuff, contact Elf." My cousin and I start our first group. Lin Fen Software. I also start to do graphics and music. I soon join Warriors of the Wasteland. You mean there are 16-bits computers out there? Who cares! All the time the album plays in the background.

Trudging back over pebbles and sand
And a strange dust lands on your hands
(And on your face...)
(On your face ...)
(On your face ...)
(On your face ...)

Andøya. My parents are away somewhere and I'm with uncles, aunts and cousins in my childhood paradise. Ocean. Seagulls. Bicycle trips over the bridge to be at the post office before it closes so one can have more cash to spend. Coke and ice cream at the local store. Fishing trips in the mountains. Beautiful nature. All nighters in front my cousin's computer. We practically rib the pantry for hot dogs and soft drinks. I let him listen to the whole album while we play the Great Giana Sisters. We beat the game.

Everyday is like Sunday
"Win Yourself A Cheap Tray"

Diary. I write it in it everyday. Relatives visit. Partied at party at NN's place. Got a little drunk. Georg is a jerk. Did another demo today, Tommy not too impressed. Am now swapping with Cheyens. PS! I'm still in love with Stine.

Share some greased tea with me
Everyday is silent and grey

The song ends and I'm back again. I feel great warmth inside and in an attempt to saviour the feeling I skip through the rest of the album. When I'm finished I put the album back in the shelf again. I check myself in the mirror. Hard to believe it's the same person. I open the door and I enter this lifetime again, closing the door on the old one. I can always open it again, with the help of a double LP with all the spring/summer 1988 UK smash hits.

Everyday is like Sunday is written, performed and (C) by Morrissey.

Hapiness is

2004-07-29 22:43:20 - 0 comments    |     Archives

Hapines is...

- to go swimming in the afternoon after spending a whole day at work looking at the blue sky outside

- to get out of the ocean and then barbacue pork chops, hot dogs and salmon

- to eat all that with salad and potato salad

- to wash it down to good beverage

- to go hunting for crabs before dessert

- to eat three portions of ice cream and sweet strawberries

- to sit in the sun to digest the food while watching the kids do frolics in the water

- to share all this with good friends and family

- to blog about it while smelling the salt water. barbecue smoke and sun on ones skin

Friday Review: The Ecleftic: 2 Sides II a Book

2004-07-30 14:56:21 - 1 comments    |     Archives

A pretty summerly album is is reviewed this week. Have a nice week-end, I'm going to prepare for the job of being toastmaster in a wedding tomorrow.

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